Marriage Laws » United States » Officiants Requirements » Questions to Ask An Officiant

[an error occurred while processing this directive] [an error occurred while processing this directive] [an error occurred while processing this directive] [an error occurred while processing this directive]

The clergy person (meaning minister, priest, pastor, rabbi, etc.) or other officiator is the person on whom you will rely for information about planning your ceremony. It should be assumed that your wedding officiator has complete control of the events in the house of worship you select or in whatever venue your ceremony is held. If you have chosen well, you can comfortably count on your officiator to be an experienced expert on wedding procedures. You should work closely with him or her and direct whatever questions you may have to him or her. In this area, as in all other aspects of your wedding, preplanning and taking the time for some conversations, will make the actual event run more smoothly.

You will, of course, first and foremost need to discuss the type of ceremony you will be having and the details it entails. Depending on your religious orientation (or not), your ceremony should be a reflection of your beliefs and traditions, as well as the rituals which are important to you. Your officiator, particularly a clergy person, will be able to discuss your wishes and explain the foundations and origins of rituals and customs. Every ceremony is a negotiation, and the more things that are discussed in advance, the better.

What follows is a list, albeit certainly not an all-encompassing one, of topics you may wish to include in your discussions with your wedding officiant:

1. Determine the date and time of the ceremony as part of the complete wedding timetable.



2. Set the date and time of the ceremony rehearsal and, if appropriate, the time for early communion.



3. Discuss the seating capacity of your house of worship or the venue where your ceremony will be held.



4. Review the rules for notifying church or other house of worship staff about your upcoming event. Clear and book the event with them.



5. Ascertain the fees that may be required for the house of worship staff and determine what functions they will perform (e.g., set up, cleanups).



6. Ask about any rules of dress which may apply. Although even orthodox churches are much more lenient today, you will not want to be embarrassed by your selection of a gown for yourself or any other wedding participants.



7. Find out whether the house of worship or other venue has rules regarding decorations.



8. Check to see what, if any, the rules are about still photo or video recording during the ceremony.



9. Check to see if there are any "house rules" about tape recording the ceremony.



10. Determine if there are any restrictions or guidelines regarding the type of music that can be played, the type and number of musicians.



11. Review the list of religion-related items. Determine who will be responsible for bringing what to the ceremony and what, if anything, will be supplied (e.g., kneeling cushion, candles, candle holders, chuppah/canopy)



12. Prepare a list of decoration-related items and determine whose responsibility they are to bring, set--up and pack up (e.g., aisle carpet, ribbons, decorations, programs)



13. Find out what religious or legal documents you will responsible for and what, if any, your officiant will take of (e.g., baptismal certificate, confirmation certificates, kettubah/wedding contract, marriage certificate)



14. Agree upon dates for counseling, if required by your officiant.



15. If you wish to write your own vows, discuss the content with your officiator so there will be no surprises.



16. Review all the details of the actual ceremony (e.g., Will there be a double ring ceremony?), and assign the necessary duties.



17. Ascertain the officiant's fee and select someone to pay him or her on the day of the wedding (usually a function your best man accepts).

Whether you will be using your own church's minister or you will be searching for someone who suits your style, the person who officiates at your wedding can be a valuable resource of information and will play a key part in establishing the tome of your ceremony and an important role in establishing the easy flow of your wedding day.

[an error occurred while processing this directive]

© 2002 Hospitality Group Network